I remember being in the park a while ago and meeting another autism mum from my estate. She was asking me how everything was with Sam and I’d reply with something along the lines of ‘yeah he’s not sleeping, and I am so tired’ or ‘he’s had a few meltdowns this week, it gets so hard for me to cope with’ every answer to a question about Sam I gave a little information about him, followed by how hard it is for me. Every time I answered she said something like ‘yeah but it’s harder for him’ or ‘it must be so confusing for the little one.’ She wasn’t saying it funny, just gently pointing out that while it is difficult for me, my brain will clear or I can take a few deep breaths, cheer up and move on things aren’t so simple for Sam. It is harder for him and it always will be. He can’t put a lid on his feeling or clear his thoughts in the way I can.
I didn’t really even take in what the lady was saying until maybe later that day, but when I did and now her words have sunk in they are words I am trying to live by. She will probably never know the effects that’s conversation had on me. As I said, I didn’t either at the time but I am so glad that she did.
Parenting is hard. Really hard. But bit by bit I will get used to parenting a child with special needs. Make his life as uncomplicated as possible. Because it has and always will be harder for him.